Hey readers! I decided to try something new with this post and depending on how it is received, I’ll continue sharing my experiences and any-n’-all life tips with you.
In a recent interview with Sade of Couture Blazer, Sade asked:
When did you decide you wanted to start documenting your fashion taste and beauty hacks online?
To which, I replied:
For years now, I’ve been interested in documenting my fashion taste and beauty hacks, but never set my plan into motion. I was unsure of how I would be received, feared “failing” at it, worried about what other people would think, etc. One day, I just pushed all those negative thoughts aside and made the decision to jump in. I was going through a difficult time in my life, deciding where my life was headed, and figured a hobby may bring some peace of mind. I’d say if you’ve been toying around with the idea of creating content/blogging, get out of your head and just do it! Blogging has become one of my greatest passions now!
You can read more of our interview here!
But to get really personal, thinking back on that difficult time, I was really in a bad space. I went through a pretty serious bout of depression while living halfway across the world…in Australia…by myself…for a year. And when I returned to the U.S., thinking I’ll finally be happy, everything didn’t improve immediately. My friends and colleagues were being awarded these great achievements, getting into amazing graduate/law schools, and honestly, I thought God had forgotten all about me. I prayed and wondered if He was listening to my sadness, to my willingness to give up on life. And yes, it was that bad. When you feel you’ve done everything society tells you to be successful and that you STILL have nothing to show for it, you start to feel worthless. I wanted to disappear.
I shut everyone out except my family and my boyfriend. So if you personally know me that explains why I didn’t answer your texts/snaps last winter…
When I wasn’t praying to disappear [because suicide has a worse fate in the Christian faith], I was praying for Him to show me why I’m still here, what I’m supposed to do with my life now.
Blogging became that answer.
I’m not sure if I had reached my breaking point one night. I don’t know if it came to me in a dream. But one day, I just felt this urge to find something to do instead of sleep all day, and cry at night. God had probably instilled in me a newfound strength. That idea that I had been toying with in the back of my mind for years came front n’ center. I needed something to interrupt my pity party, to keep me busy. I wasn’t doing anything anyway!
I wanted to get back in touch with fashion and my artistic pursuits. Because even when I felt depressed, my fashion choices would NEVER let it show. Fashion was my outlet and I was/am a firm believer in “when you look good, you feel good!” I wanted to document those outfits that made me feel good and, more importantly, unique, not just another Instagram baddie. When I expressed my individuality through fashion, I felt more worthwhile. There IS only ONE me. I didn’t want to disappear. I wanted to be SEEN. And hell yes, I’ll repeat that good outfit if I feel not enough people saw me in it.
I wanted my outfits to make YOU want to approach me and be my friend! I wanted to talk to strangers online and experience new things!
I had to push away the fear of self-promotion [and honestly, I still have that fear as an introvert]. I had to ignore all the negative thoughts of being disliked, being made fun of, coming across narcissistic. Because truly, narcissism just feels like a natural product of self-promotion. I had to ignore it all and get to work!
Fashion blogging reminded me that I’m unique, and everyone’s journey is unique. What’s working for Jane Doe isn’t what’s going to work for me! For now, creating content IS what’s working.
So most likely, if you’ve clicked on this post, you probably have SOME interest in blogging or are just curious about me, how I started my blog, why I started my blog, etc. If you’re encouraged to ignore your Negative Nancy and get to work – whether on your own blog or any other pursuit – I’ll be there to help, encourage, and possibly collab with you! Let’s grow together!
Contact me here or at email@example.com!
#NC4OT if you’re inspired in any way by my content!
♥ And if you’re at a transitional point in your life/starting a new pursuit/in the beginning stages of a new project, comment below! Let us know what you’re up to!
Before I end this post, it’s important I say this: *If you’re going through hard times, depression, and/or suicidal thoughts, please seek help! If not with a professional, tell your loved ones! Tell SOMEONE! Save your life! You may not see it now, but there is light at the end of your tunnel. Hold on!
Until next time!