No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

Patching My Life Back Together

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

Michael Kors Coat | (AUS) K-Mart Denim Top | SheIn Skirt (SOLD OUT)

Daffy’s “Irregular Choice” Heels | Ruby Kisses “Coral” Matte Lipstick

Hey lovely readers! I figured today’s post would feature this patchwork skirt seeing that the title of this post is “Patching My Life Back Together”. Patch skirt? Patching my life? Yeah, you get it. If you caught my latest YouTube video, you know that I’ve been feeling depressed lately about a lot of different things. You can watch the video below to find out exactly what I mean.

And if you have watched, I just want to say, I’m more than appreciative for all the love and advice you ladies have given me this past week. My audience is AMAZING. I’ve found kindred spirits online, people who relate to me and understand me, and have gone or are going through the same feelings I am. And that makes me feel less alone. I’ve always been somewhat introverted and closed off, scared to reveal my true self to people. I’ve never had as many friends and as much support as I do now.  So I am truly thankful whenever you guys take the time out to brighten a complete stranger’s – like myself – day. Though I would hope by now that you don’t think of me as a stranger and more like your friend or your sis.

So of course, my depression hasn’t completely disappeared. There are still lingering doubts in my head, but having talked to you guys this past week through YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, phone calls, I can say my days are looking up.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

For today’s post, I decided to just gather all the positive, self love comments I received from you guys and share it in this post. A patchwork of encouragement, body positivity, and just self love. So if you feel as though you are alone, here’s a reminder that there are people out there JUST LIKE YOU. Having the same struggles you do. Just as lost as you are. Who find the strength to just push through, and take life one day at a time.

YOU guys did ALL the work for me. I just threw together your gems and testimonies and this post was born. I hope you feel as encouraged as I did after reading these comments. And if you want to share your testimony or advice, leave a comment below. Maybe even give yourself the advice YOU need to hear. You’ll never know who needed to hear that SAME advice too.

*I have not posted the authors of each comment, just to respect their privacy.

Take one step at a time. I have been MIA too with my dad passing and I’m still going through a lot. What helped me was a diary and writing quotes. Try to pray more, laugh more, joke more and smile more. The negative things, try to reverse into a positive.

Dude, I’ve been in a funk as well! Like legit hard on myself because now I think I also want to change my degree, financial issues, and personal insecurities! WE ALL are dealing with Mind Monsters, (anxiety, depression, insecurities, etc.) You’re not alone. I promise you. Everything you’re going through RIGHT NOW is strengthening you, it’s humbling you, and most importantly…preparing you for your purpose. Whenever you audience increases, AND IT WILL (IN JESUS NAME), use the platform to help other ladies dealing with skin issues just like you so that they may never have to feel like you did.

I just wanted to remind you not to get discouraged because you’re in your caterpillar stages in life….all of this is transforming you to be the beautiful purposeful butterfly God called you to be. I believe in you. You’re a STAR, you’re wonderfully made, you may feel like you’re under attack but it’s only because the Devil sees something in you that you don’t even see in yourself! His only option IS to try and make you feel horrible about your CURRENT situation so that you don’t continue to STRIVE to go to the GREAT places God has called you to. Go easy on yourself babe. God bless you, Jesus loves you <3

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

What I’ve learned over the past year is that with all the webinars and classes, etc., our mind has been trained to miss the simple victories because everyone only talks about the facts that got them to the top – not the emotional and physical and financial struggles. I mean, to be honest, I don’t have the # of page views I want per month on my blog, but I’m motivated to keep going simply because people are encouraged by me just doing it (blogging).

You are not alone. Your feelings and emotions are valid. A lot of people just don’t speak up about it (depression). I guess so many of us prefer to suffer in silence. Find someone [to talk to] who you can accept as a source of balance.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

Worrying about other people will distract you from your own shit. We all have our own stories so comparisons really have no importance. By all means use some of their [your competition’s] approaches to better your strategies. That’s how people use competition. They don’t follow their competition to deter them. They use their competition’s strategies to their advantage. But using comparisons to determine your own life does NOT make sense. Use it to better yourself. Don’t use other people to determine what you want to do with your life. No one should have that type of power.

Unfollow anyone you compare yourself to and only follow those who inspire you to be yourself.

There used to be a time when I felt the same way (referring to my Life Update video)…some days I still do. But hold on to the things that make you feel good. You have to maintain what makes you YOU. As cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

I did a fast at the beginning of the year because I was struggling with the same issue (referring to uncertainty about life) and I just really wanted some clarity. I was like Lord, I need you to send me down a tablet with step by step instructions for how to do life ’cause I can’t handle making all these decisions. I did the fast and God didn’t answer any of my questions about my future. I was like hmm this ain’t working lol. But during that time, He showed me how to trust Him more and gave me peace that He is working everything out. It is very frustrating to not be in on the plans He has for your life! And I know it feels like God isn’t listening or you can’t hear Him speaking to you. I’ve been there and honestly most days I’m still there, but honestly just taking every moment and giving it to God can change your whole perspective and give you peace you never knew you could have in the midst of chaos…Every time I start to doubt, get frustrated or worry about my future, I take a moment to say a quick prayer.

I also experienced a rough January with blogging and content and figuring out life honestly. So just know that you’re not alone. Remember that God loves you and He has equipped you for ALL that He has called and will call you to do…Perfection does not inspire people, persistence in the face of trials does.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

I’m not sure what you’re going through, but I do know this, good things happen to good people. This too shall pass. A star always shines even when it’s dark. Remember that.

Even though you may see the flaws, others are inspired and still enjoy your content…Some people let their fears prevent them from even going to college, let alone having a blog or YouTube channel. Never mind your flaws and appreciate all of your accomplishments. Be proud.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

I can relate to feeling selfish too when I get depressed and anxious because I do have a lot to be grateful for. However, I still feel depressed and anxious over things in my life…I try to remind myself of the things I take for granted that others wish they had.

When I try to express to friends and family my lack of happiness with my self, they just don’t get it. They think I’m ungrateful, but they don’t get that it’s disappointing when you make goals for yourself and you don’t reach them or not as quickly as you thought you would. I have been trying to hype myself up to start a YouTube channel for like 2 years now and I just lack the confidence. I’m so scared of the feedback, the negative comments, and not being pretty enough or interesting enough. It doesn’t help that I’ve also struggled with depression and low self esteem since junior high. You have definitely inspired me to kick start my YouTube channel. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Everyday I’m struggling. The other day I was crying in the mirror because of all the weight I gained. I try to remain positive around people because I don’t want them to be unhappy. I know misery loves company and I wouldn’t want that for anyone…You’re going to get to the point where you’re gonna be like “fuck all of these superficial standards, I know I got the juice. I’m confident in my abilities”. And all it takes is to unlearn everything you convinced yourself and pay attention to the ACTUAL fact of things.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

Your hard work will manifest! The universe doesn’t care how you feel about yourself, but instead the effort you make to make yourself better and make your dreams come true despite your insecurities. It speaks VOLUMES to do something even when you don’t believe in yourself…As long as you continue to make efforts, it gets better, but if you just sulk then it [your dreams/life] never works. Your dreams don’t work unless YOU do. Even when you accomplish something trivial pat yourself on the back.

I just got accepted into the program I wanted. And I remember crying to my boyfriend because I had to start EVERYTHING ALL OVER to become eligible for the program. I never thought I would even get here. And it put things into perspective. I have to appreciate the journey. And not only the goal. Because if I only focus on the goal, I’ll just complain my whole way there! And I won’t appreciate the hard work it took me to get there.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

It’s a learning experience. You’re not gonna hit all the right marks from the get go. That’s impossible. You’re expecting way too much from yourself and it’s leading to this disappointment. Allow yourself to learn and grow. Be open to that because that’s what has to happen. You’ve never done this before. How could you possibly be an expert? Out of all of these successful entrepreneurs I’ve never seen one perfect story. Not one. The beginnings are all full of mistakes. Just give yourself time. You don’t think you owe yourself that much? You’re not even giving yourself a fair chance.

No Country For Old Trends | Patching My Life Back Together

Thank you SO MUCH to all the co-authors of today’s post and to those who offered me advice over the phone. I can’t recall our convo word for word for a direct quote, but you know I appreciated the therapy session and the listening ear. Sorry if you had to hear me ugly cry over the phone lol.

That’s all folks!

If you have any advice for yourself, fellow blogger, fellow woman, leave a comment!  Or if any one quote resonated with you, let us know below!

Until next time!

3 thoughts on “Patching My Life Back Together

  1. Jaleesa JaLEESAAAA!!!! *in my Oprah voice I just watch 30 minutes of your honesty and was grateful that you had enough courage to even speak your issues out loud.I suffered in silence and experienced several boughts of the issues including depression, ongoing anxiety, less than accomplished life goals, body issues, and comparing myself to others constantly (which is something I did my whole life).I am an Aries and I know the feeling of being strong headed or strong minded not wanting to open up or be vulnerable and it can get tough.I am also a perfectionist when it comes to my blog.However lately I realized (it’s like a light went off) its more than visuals.It’s more than cute outfits. When you began to open and share who YOU are people appreciate it and connect with it on so many deep levels. This is your DEEP LEVEL! I saw a side of you I never seen and I love you more for it.We are human. There is no such thing as a perfect blog or blogger, just more visually appealing ones, but that does not make you or me less than. One thing that I always used as a rule was that no other blogger was my competiton. What the hell would we be competing for, best dressed? lol That’s not even a real thing. There are no IG fashion awards. This allowed me to see what they do in a light that does not diminish my own and so I can be inspired by them enough to uplift my own imagery.What drew me to you was that you , your style, hair , makeup , and photography was like no one elses I have seen.I hate that contrived tumblr feed look *rolls eyes.It feels so impersonal.I wish I could get out all the things I want to say but I feel like I am going off on a tangent.Just know it’s ok to have high standards, but it’s also ok if they are not fulfilled in the timeline you would desire.Some people measure success with things like fame or money and when they have them they are so unfulfilled.I choose to celebrate every milestone whether how great or small because I could always be dead or a bum bitch with no views at all on my blog lol(I’m so kidding about the bum bitch part,kinda).There are times I have a great post and I get hardly any views and I’m like ‘what the shit?’.Then I post something basic and everyone loves it.Sometimes that’s just how it goes.I love you for being open,critical,strong headed,and so damn smart.Girl ! Law school,like for real go bih!! I remember from an earlier post how you love Latin.So do I .I love latin word origins and I actually majored in Chemistry, but I was terrible at math and dropped out.I was down on myself about that for almost 8 years.I kept looking at my friends graduate and I felt inadequate, but I had success in ways they did not.I was happily married with a family.You just got to celebrate what you have more than worrying over what you do not have.The mind is the most powerful tool we have and our words can bring forth life (positivity) or death (negativity).I know it’s easier said than done , but retraining your thoughts to positivity first will make the difference.Positivity attracts positivity.I know this for a fact.Anyway this shit is long.You are awesome and knowing you it may be hard to accept this compliment because I still struggle with them myself, but it is true.You really bring a light to my day when I read your posts so never stop because there is always someone watching and you may be what they need to get through the day.oh yea p,s, I have bad hyperpigmentation as well.have you tried ambi fade cream? It really fades the dark spots and its cheap too! I researched it before I used it.

    1. Lanatriaaa, this EXTRA LONG comment means so much to me. Thank you so much for all of the advice. Everything you just said lets me know that you get what I’m saying and how I’m feeling. You’re so right that it’s about retraining your mindset. It’s so hard to do when you’ve just held on to this negative “my life sucks” mindset for most of your life. I gotta keep working on it. Because most of the times, the small victories don’t feel worth celebrating when I keep comparing that victory to another’s. And girl you hit the nail on the fucking head – whenever I think I’m making an amazing post/content, no views. The most basic post/picture, likes & comments galore. I just do NOT get it. I mean I kinda get that people like the “norm”, but I don’t wish to be like that. I just want you to know that your posts always make my day. Your style is so inspiring to me. And your personality just shines through every caption and post. ‘If I told you once, I told you twice” *lil’ kim style*…You ARE goals. I’m just tryna get on your level sis. Oh, and yes I have tried Ambi fade cream. I’ve probably tried everything. The strength of it isn’t strong enough for my dark spots. I now buy the strongest Retin-A and the STRONGEST hydroquinone fade cream from e-bay. Illegal lol, but they really do wonders to fade my dark spots. It’s just that some weeks, I’ll have a crazy break out from stress and then have to start all over again. And then the break out and starting all over stresses me out more so its just like a never ending cycle. Someone recommended a dermatologist in NYC area so I’m gonna research her. Thanks again boo! 😘

  2. All these quotes are so true! Girl you are on your way! And most of all you are not alone.

    I love that you shared the advice that you received from friends, family and your blogging sisters. Definitely here to support!

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